Interview With A Spy
by kiwiosity
Summary: ZC: After extensive planning, the Operatives managed to capture the Subject, aka Zachary Goode. They used three Napotine patches and an abandoned classroom, using duct tape to restrain the Subject in a chair. The interview is as follows.
1. Part I: The Operatives and the Subject

_After much planning and scheming, Macey McHenry (Peacock), Rebecca Baxter (Duchess), and Elizabeth Sutton (Bookworm) managed to capture the Subject, otherwise known as Zachary Goode. They used three Napotine patches and an abandoned classroom, using duct tape to restrain the Subject in a chair. The objection was to get some questions answered. The interview went as follows:_

The Subject: What? What the hell- _-struggles with duct tape-_

Peacock: Stop it. My head hurts.

The Subject: Macey? What the heck- get me out of here- _-struggles-_

Duchess: Stop! We're here to ask you a few questions.

The Subject: A few- a few- what the- a few questions? And you couldn't call me or something?

Bookworm: Did you know that on an average landline there are sixteen piggybackers who can listen to your every word?

The Subject: No- what the... Did Cammie tell you to do this?

Duchess: No, we decided to do it ourselves. We just want to ask you a few questions.

The Subject: Look, my number is 555-1987, I don't, I mean, it's secure... I have and AIM-

Peacock: Be quiet. Where's the question sheet?

The Subject: Question sheet? -_raises eyebrow, smirks-_

Duchess: -_holds question sheet up- _Here it is, Mace. Number One: Do you enjoy making Cammie suffer?

The Subject: Suffer? _-smirks-_

Peacock: On June 18th, she was reported to have complained about you. September 24th, she was showing obvious signs of distress. November 2nd, she received a note from you. December, she was reported to have seen you, and, quote, you didn't seem to want to kiss her, unquote.

The Subject: Um... Excuse me?

Duchess: C'mon pretty boy.

The Subject: She thought I didn't want to kiss her?

Peacock: Did you not show any signs of affection and/or have testosterone-

The Subject: No- no, wait, she thought I didn't want to kiss her?

Duchess: If you don't answer, I will tear out your liver.

The Subject: She-

Duchess: With nail clippers.

The Subject: No, I believe you. But, she wanted to kiss me?

Duchess: Where are my nail clippers?

The Subject: Okay! Okay! No, I don't enjoy making her suffer. It's- it's just a game that I like to play.

Peacock: So you think playing with Cammie is an equivalent to Monopoly.

The Subject: No!

Peacock: Bingo?

The Subject: No.

Peacock: Life?

Bookworm: Diner Dash?

Peacock: Candyland?

The Subject: -_hesitation-_ No...?

Duchess: Hesitation. Are you lying?

The Subject: No! Can you let me go?

Peacock: No. We can come back to this.

Duchess: True. Second question.

Bookworm: Why do you call her Gallagher Girl?

The Subject: Long story.

Duchess: We have time.

The Subject: It's just a stupid nickname.

Duchess: I found my nail clippers!

The Subject: No, no, no, I mean, it's like an inside joke thing.

Peacock: Do you think it gives you an air of coolness and confidence, maybe mystery?

The Subject: -_frowns- _Yes...?

Peacock: Cuz it doesn't. And if I have to hear Cammie complain about you one more time in her sleep-

The Subject: She talks about me in her sleep?

_Note: Ego may have inflated slightly here._

Peacock: Write a note that his ego may have inflated at that previous point of conversation.

Duchess: Done.

The Subject: Are you guys _clinically insane_?

Bookworm: -_takes breath-_

The Subject: Don't. Answer.

Peacock: Next question. Do you like Cammie?

The Subject: Yes.

Peacock: As a friend, or as a girlfriend?

The Subject: Yes.

Duchess: Which one?

The Subject: You're going to show this to her, right? -_looks genuinely worried-_

Peacock: You can count on it.

The Subject: -_thinks- _Can you cut the next part out?

Duchess: Why? She's our best friend. We have to tell her, or-

The Subject: I'm being serious.

Duchess: _-pause_- Maybe.

The Subject: -_sighs-_ /BLOCKED/

_to be continued_


	2. Part II: The Chameleon and the Subject

_This is Part II of the interrogation with The Subject, otherwise known as the Subject. Out of courtesy, some things may be blocked out for the Subject's privacy. This takes place approximately thirty eight minutes after the last interview. Part II goes as follows:_

The Subject: Can you let me out yet?

Peacock: No.

Duchess: Peacock is correct.

Peacock: Question number three. On a scale of one to ten, rate each of the following about Cameron Morgan. Looks, intelligence, humor, and general.

The Subject: -_gives confused look- _

Bookworm: Rate Cammie.

The Subject: Why?

Peacock: Becaauussee.

The Subject: -_imitates Peacock_- Becauuussee why?

Duchess: So that our friend can get a boost in the self esteem area.

The Subject: What? -_is skeptical and/or confused-_

Duchess: Answering now would be good.

The Subject: Have I ever told you that you guys are crazy?

Peacock: Once or twice. Answer the damn question.

The Subject: -_thinks-_ Uh... I dunno. /BLOCK/

Peacock: Holy-

Bookworm: Mace!

Duchess: That is a bloody /BLOCK/ rating.

Peacock: We can't tell Cammie.

Duchess: She might faint.

Peacock: Or /BLOCK/ Zach.

The Subject: -_smirks_- You think she'd try that?

Operatives: -_are silent-_

_Note: Ego may have inflated here._

Peacock: Another ego inflation, write it down.

Bookworm: Right. Got it.

The Subject: Sorry for asking. Can you let me out now?

Peacock: -_smirks-_

The Subject: What are you smirking for?

Peacock: Oh come on. You know that I know that we all know that if had wanted to get out of here, you would've already. It's really not that hard. You actually like this.

The Subject: _-stares- _I'm tied to a metal chair with duct tape.

Duchess: And that means you like Cammie.

The Subject: _-raises eyebrow- _How do you get that?_ -smirks-_

Note: The Operatives do not know how Cammie could fall for someone so annoying. (Though, his arms are quite nice. He's still annoying though.)

Peacock: You think that Cammie set this up, right? So wouldn't you think that she would want to know this, because she likes you back? Not to mention, you know that we show this to her, and you think that all your mysterious comments just make her like you even more.

The Subject: I'm right, aren't I?

_Note: Ego inflation._

Peacock: Liz-

Bookworm: Got it.

Peacock: Sure, you are, but from the information we're gathering, you like her.

The Subject: -_does that laughing but not smiling thing-_

Peacock: Whatever. I'm thirsty.

_Interview end._

_

* * *

_

_The Operatives decided that the best way to prove to the Subject that he did in fact totally love the Chameleon and vice versa, they decided to lock the Chameleon in the room with him. -snicker- This project went as follows:_

Chameleon: Hey- hey... This isn't...

The Subject: Gallagher girl?

Chameleon: Holy... What the heck? You're tied up.

The Subject: I realize that.

-_awkward silence_-

Chameleon: Why are you tied up?

The Subject: Ha. Long story. Ask your friends.

Chameleon: Wait. My friends did this to you? _-laughs quietly-_

The Subject: So... you're not going to untie me.

Chameleon: No, I will._-pause-_ You just need to answer some questions first.

_-silence-_

The Subject: Okay. Fine.

Chameleon: -_from the audio comms, we believe she sat down at this point- _Let's start with the obvious one.

_Note: Total flirtation right there._

The Subject: -_probably smirking-_

Together: 'Why were you in Boston?'

The Subject: Can't tell you.

Chameleon: Why not? -_slightly emotional-_

The Subject: I just... Can't.

Chameleon: And I just _can't_ unduct-tape you. -_it was weird sentence, yet it was oddly dignified when she said it-_

The Subject: Wait-

Chameleon: I have to go. Bye. _tries to open door, can't (because it's locked.)-_

The Subject: The door's locked.

Chameleon: Thanks, Zach.

The Subject: Hey, I didn't set this up.

Chameleon: My friends are clinically insane.

The Subject: -_probably smirking again- _Explains a lot about you.

Chameleon: What's that supposed to mean?

The Subject: What do you think- Nevermind.

Chameleon: -_possibly sits back down-_ Well, they have to let us out sometime, right?

The Subject: Sometime. -_silence-_

Chameleon: You look so helpless. -_laughs-_

The Subject: So you're going to let me out?

Chameleon: No. I'll take a picture, though.

The Subject: Hey- hey. This isn't funny.

Chameleon: What, the fact that you got tied up by three girls, or the fact that I'm taking a picture of it?

_Note: FLIRTING!_

The Subject: -_presumed to be thinking-_

Chameleon: So.

The Subject: Why do you want to know why I was in Boston?

Chameleon: What?

The Subject: Why do you want to know?

Chameleon: I don't know... I mean, you were there, and I didn't even know about it.

The Subject: That's it?

Chameleon: Well, and also the fact that you didn't acknowledge me at all, I mean, not even a brush pass or a-

The Subject: So you want to know why I didn't come up to you with a basket of cookies and a welcome mat?

Chameleon: No! I mean, come on. After everything after last semester, and you didn't even-

The Subject: Well, I couldn't exactly Myspace message you-

Chameleon: That's not the point!

The Subject: Then what is?

_The Operatives feel as if they have been intruding on a private conversation, so they continue to listen. Because this is quite obviously a COUPLE FIGHT (verified by Macey McHenry, aka Peacock)_

_And couple fights mean that Zach and Cammie are totally head over heels in love._

_Or something less clichéd._

_to be continued_


	3. Part III: Sexual Tension and the Subject

_Welcome to part three of the Interview. __Out of courtesy, some things may be blocked out for the Subject's privacy. This takes place approximately two seconds after the previous documentation._

Chameleon: Forget it.

The Subject: Tell me.

Chameleon: There are some things you don't need to know. -_mocks Subject-_

The Subject: Don't joke about things like that.

Chameleon: I'm not joking.

The Subject: I'm serious.

Chameleon: I am too.

The Subject: Cammie-

Chameleon: -_slicing is heard. Either she wants to kill the Subject, or she's taking out the lock-picking hair pins-_

The Subject: Cammie...

Chameleon: I'm getting out of here.

_Note: Oh my God. If she took out her hair pins, then her hair fell in that dramatically sexy and spy-y way. Which might be why Zach is just saying her name. -analysis by Macey McHenry, with assistance of Rebecca Baxter.  
_

The Subject: Can you untie me? I could help.

Chameleon: I- I'm not talking to you right now.

The Subject: -_says nothing-_

Chameleon: It's not working. Come on. Come on. -_picks lock-_

The Subject: Looks like you're stuck with me.

Chameleon: Just shut up.

The Subject: Give up already. Your friends are way too smart.

Chameleon: And mental.

The Subject: And mental.

Chameleon: _-kicks door-_

_Note: Really long and awkward sexually tensioned moment._

The Subject: If you were stuck on an island, what would you bring?

Chameleon: What?

The Subject: Just answer the question.

Chameleon: This is weird.

The Subject: Just answer it.

Chameleon: Okay, I would bring a huge bag of M&M's, um, I would bring Napotine patches...

The Subject: What?

Chameleon: Because it's like killing an animal for food, but more civilized.

The Subject: How is it more civilized?

Chameleon: You don't feel anything with Napotine patches.

The Subject: That's morbid.

Chameleon: And I guess I'd bring a person, too, just for company.

The Subject: Who?

Chameleon: Just.. anyone.

The Subject: Anyone?

Chameleon: Not you.

The Subject: That... hurts.

Chameleon: I would believe you, but...

The Subject: But what?

Chameleon: But you're too...

The Subject: Too...

Chameleon: Emotionless.

The Subject: Hey. That hurts too.

Chameleon: Go cry me a river.

The Subject: You know how I could do that... You could untie me.

Chameleon: Would you shut up if I did?

The Subject: Okay, if you want to get a guy, insulting him doesn't work-

Chameleon: I don't want you.

The Subject: -_probably smirking.-_ _-probably about to utter a really hot one-liner-_ See, your lips say no...

_Note: That one liner is way too overused and therefore not hot._

Chameleon: Oh my God._ (go Cammie!)_

The Subject: Okay, I'm sorry.

Chameleon: Okay, I'll untie you.

The Subject: Thanks. I mean, I wished it could've been earlier.

Chameleon: If you tell me one thing.

The Subject: This again?

Chameleon: Yes, this again. Except the question isn't so... obvious.

The Subject: Great. Go ahead.

Chameleon: OhmyGod. No. It's embarrassing.

The Subject: No, no, you have to untie me.

Chameleon: You're going to think I'm desperate.

The Subject: _-silence-_

Chameleon: Don't look at me like that.

The Subject: Untie me?

Chameleon: Okay. But don't laugh.

The Subject: I'll try.

Chameleon: I'm serious.

The Subject: Okay. I won't laugh.

Chameleon: 't, did you? _(OH. MY. GOSH. CAMMIE! SHE HAS NERVE!)_

The Subject: What?

Chameleon: Oh my God. _-sounds stressed-_

The Subject: Whoa. Uh, don't cry.

Chameleon: I'm not crying.

The Subject: Right. You're just... sweating from your eyes.

Chameleon: Okay, what I said was a lot stupider when I said it out loud.

The Subject: Hey, if you told me, and then untied me, I could judge exactly how stupid it sounded.

Chameleon: You're not helping me at all, Zach.

The Subject: Okay. What did you say?

Chameleon: _-pause-_ You know that night on the train?

The Subject: ...Yeah.

Chameleon: When we were in the...

The Subject: Collapsible bunk.

Chameleon: Yeah. That. And then you looked at me.

The Subject: Like you do when your neck can't move.

Chameleon: 't-

The Subject: Say that slowly?

Chameleon: And you-

The Subject: And I-

Chameleon: Really looked like-

The Subject: Like...

Chameleon: Okay, this is embarrassing.

The Subject: As long as you get me out of the chair, I don't care.

Chameleon: Likeyouwantedtokissme but you didn't.

The Subject: One more time.

Chameleon: _-yelling-_ LIKE YOU WANTED TO KISS ME BUT YOU DIDN'T.

The Subject: -_most likely smirking, possibly raising eyebrows-_

Chameleon: Okay, I'll just untie you.

_Note: Liz is working on rewiring the cameras so that they feed to her computer and so we have video evidence that Cammie and Zach are meant to be._

The Subject:-_silent-_

Chameleon: So, this is awkward, and I don't think my friends are unlocking me... and you... us any time soon, so I'll just be over in this corner-

The Subject:_ -OBVIOUS KISSING SOUNDS!-_

Chameleon_: -SEE ACTION ABOVE!-_

The Operatives: -burst into the room- WE KNEW IT! WE KNEW IT! WE KNEW IT! You two are so meant for each other.

The Subject: -looks at Operatives with annoyed expression- Great.

Chameleon: -looking slightly mortified.-

Peacock: What's wrong?

Chameleon: You guys were videotaping me?

Peacock: Yeah...

Chameleon: Which camera?

Bookworm: The one in this room, Camera A45gi-

Chameleon: You mean the one that feeds into my mom's computer.

Bookworm: But- But, I rewired it to go to-

Chameleon: It still feeds through to my mom's computer.

The Subject: -smirks-

Chameleon: Oh my God, you guys...

The Operatives: ...Oops...

Chameleon: Yeah, oops is right.

The Operatives: Ha... Sorry?

_to be continued_

* * *

the last chapter is coming soon! :) it's going to be short, though.

review questions/other things:  
-sorry zach was a bit out of character. he has been locked up for three hours, already, though. haha. poor zach.  
-do you have a favorite line? in this story? tell me, yeah?**  
**-okay, the feedback for the sticking to the cover? amazing.


	4. Part IV: The Parting and the Subject

_Welcome to Part Four of the Interview. Nothing will be blocked out. Because it's quite obvious that Zach and Cammie are meant to be._

Duchess: Macey, you can't write their names.

Peacock: Oops.

_Welcome to Part Four of the Interview. Nothing will be blocked out. Because it's quite obvious that the Subject and the Chameleon are meant to be._

Peacock: You guys are so adorable.

Chameleon: I hate you all.

Bookworm: -offended- Why?

Chameleon: Because now we have _sneak_ Zach out to avoid confrontation.

The Subject: C'mon, Gallagher Girl. You, me, a small vent, three of your insane friends...

Chameleon: Yes, it's the making of a romance novel.

Peacock: Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Cammie.

Duchess: Are we there yet?

The Subject: Yep. -pops vent- -exits vent-

Chameleon: Oh my God. Fresh air.

_We climb out onto the roof. It's very windy. Liz almost falls over, it's that windy._

Bookworm: Hey!

The Subject: Well, gotta jet.

Peacock: That was very Ryan Atwood of you.

The Operatives and The Subject:_ -give her strange looks-_

Peacock: What, you've never watch _The O.C. _before?

Duchess: Nope.

Chameleon: Not really.

Bookworm: Never.

The Subject: Yeah, no.

Peacock: -_sighs-_ Whatever.

The Subject: See ya, Gallagher Girl._ -looks at the Operatives-_ And... company._ -pulls out communication unit- -turns away-_

Chameleon:_ -stands there looking sad-_

The Subject: Oh, I almost forgot. _-turns back around-_

Chameleon: _-looks up excitedly-_

The Subject: Grant has a note for Baxter. _-pulls note out of pocket-_

Duchess: _-snatches it out of his hand_- You didn't read it did you?

The Subject: _-avoids question-_ You know, I know this really good asylum-

Chameleon: _-pushes the Subject-_ Okay, you can go now.

The Subject: You can be nicer about it, you know. I might never see you again.

The Operatives: Doubtful.

Chameleon: Okay, so are you set? You have a helicopter, or a jet, or whatever...

The Subject: Yep.

_-awkward moment-_

The Subject: So, I'm going to go now.

The Operatives: _-watch and refrain from squealing-_

Chameleon: Um, can you guys go wait in the vent?

_So not a sentence you hear everyday. But we comply. We just listen in. Because we're so fly-_

Duchess: Macey.

Peacock: You guys have no fun in your lives.

Bookworm: Shhh!

_The conversation goes as follows:_

The Subject: You should probably go back too.

Chameleon: You didn't mean it, did you?

The Subject: Mean what?

Chameleon: The- the never-seeing-me-again thing.

The Subject: Honestly, Gallagher Girl...

Chameleon: Yes?

The Subject: I have no idea.

_Oh. My. Gosh. He just- he just- he just- admitted he didn't know something!_

Chameleon: Oh. Okay.

The Subject: Yeah.

Chameleon: I'm going to go now.

The Subject: But not before I-

_He didn't say anything else, so we had to pop out of the vent and see._

Bookworm: Ow!

Peacock: Ohmygod.

Duchess: Bloody hell.

_They were so kissing! Again!_

Bookworm: Maybe we should, um...

Peacock: Yeah. We should.

Duchess: Right behind you.

The Operatives: _-slowly and covertly go into the vent again-_

Chameleon: -enters vent- Thanks for waiting.

Duchess: No problem. What'd he say?

Chameleon: -pause- Um, good luck with school. And stuff.

Peacock: Oh. How sweet.

Chameleon: Yeah.

_Conclusion: Based on the evidence of the past few hours, we have officially concluded that Cammie and Zach are totally, and irrevocably-_

Duchess: Stop quoting books.

Peacock: Fine!

_Are totally in love. Even if Zach is a jerk who really needs to keep his comments to himself. Seriously.  
_

_Respectfully submitted, _

_The Operatives_

_

* * *

_yep. haha. that was fun to write.  
-yeah. the rooftop ending. haha. i'm so cliched.  
-put up eye candy, spy candy  
-favorite line?

**i just realized. this is fucking monumental. the first multi-chaptered story that i completed. well, it was actually kind of a four-shot, but still! fucking monumental!**


End file.
